Dating An Older Woman, Whether we realize it or not, many of us are very afraid of the idea of love. We have all built defense mechanisms that could protect us from suffering. These mechanisms give us a false illusion of security and prevent us from finding the relationship we really want.
What mechanism causes the fear of intimacy?
For example, I often see very interesting people around me, but often alone, even if they are at the right age to take advantage of all the gifts of a relationship. Loneliness is assumed and even glorified. Despite the smiles and the detachment, deep in their hearts there is something Lovinga that prevents these people from finding and keeping the love they want.
1. True love makes us vulnerable
A new relationship is uncharted territory and most of us are afraid of the unknown. Falling in love really means taking a risk. We have great trust in this person who makes us feel exposed and vulnerable.
And our defense mechanisms are provoked. We begin to believe that we are going to suffer even more because we love.
2. A new love opens up old wounds.
When we start a new relationship, we realize the wounds that old relationships have left in our hearts. The ways we have been hurt in other relationships since childhood have a big influence on how people perceive us and also how we behave in romantic relationships. We try to avoid love because it reminds us of loss, anger, and rejection. Love is associated with pain, the pain of being unloved…in the past.
3. Love threatens an old construction of identity. – Dating An Older Woman
Many people struggle with the deep feeling that they don’t deserve love. We all have a very critical and sometimes unforgiving voice within us that tells us that we are worthless and unworthy of happiness. This feeling was formed in childhood, because of the experiences lived very early in life.
The perception of our parents also influences us. Over time, these attitudes have been hidden within us. As adults, we don’t see that this thought hurts us.
These critical points of view, our inner voice are often unpleasant but at the same time comfortable, because they are familiar to us. When someone sees us in a different Lovinga.Com way and likes and appreciates us, we start to feel uncomfortable.
4. True happiness also brings pain
Whenever we experience true happiness and feel the value of life on a deeply emotional level we also expect to feel a lot of sadness. Many of us stay away from things that bring joy because the same things will also bring us pain. When we feel that we are falling in love with someone, we start to hesitate because we are afraid of the pain that a possible break could bring us.
5. Love is often unequal – Dating An Older Woman
Many people avoid getting involved in a romantic relationship with someone because they like that person too much. They are afraid that if they become more involved in a relationship with this person, their feelings will not change and the relationship will end in pain and the feeling of rejection.
The truth is that often love is unequal, with one person loving more and the other less, with the situation changing from time to time. Our feelings towards someone are an ever-changing force. Within seconds, we can feel anger, sadness, and hatred against someone we love.
6. Romantic relationships break the connection with your family.
For younger children, relationships can be a symbol that they have matured and can begin to live independently. Which can sometimes be difficult because it also means separation from an old identity.
7. Love animates existential fears – Dating An Older Woman
The more we have, the more we lose. When we fall in love we not only begin to feel the fear of losing our partner, but we also become more aware of our morality. Our life has more value and meaning, so the fear of losing that person is even scarier. In an attempt to overcome this fear we focus on superficial reasons, we have all kinds of arguments with the couple partner or in extreme cases even give up on the relationship.
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In short, the conclusion
We also still find many reasons to justify our inability to be in a relationship. Most relationships bring a lot of change. But if we can understand our fear of intimacy and how it affects our behavior towards others, that will be an important step towards a fulfilling and lasting romantic relationship. These fears can be masked by various justifications.